Grateful

I begin this post with a reading of the prose Grateful. I feel it is a piece that has to be heard not just read.

 

People ask me if it sucks to have MS. If life is really hard, especially; being a single mom too. What can you say to that? “No! It’s a snap!” or “I barely make it! I have no idea what to do any more.”

Neither of those answers works for me. I don’t want to be too revealing or a drama queen. I want to strive for balance and be more honest with fewer words. Is that possible?

I used to think MS was a burden upon my life. Always taking something away from me and leaving nothing in return. I felt my legs get weaker and my fingers loose feeling. I felt my pride lessen and my confidence dwindle.

Then one day, I realized I had it all wrong. My daughter and I were complaining about how much it sucked that MS interfered with our lives. I needed a relaxing quiet home day and my daughter wanted to spend the day at the beach. We were both disappointed in our own ways in our own corners. Then it dawned on me, it all mattered how you were looking at it. At another angle it could look quit different.

I began to reflect to the day my legs stopped running and I received the gift of a slow pace in all its entirety. I glanced down at my hands and thought of how they used to create works of beads and wood but clumsiness took root in them and now words bounce forth. I pivoted to be face to face with my daughter and remembered how lucky I am to walk with her throughout her day.

It took awhile for my eyes to open and for me to recognize the life teaching lessons that I am acquiring living with MS. It is so much easier to notice what is disappearing from ones life and a great deal harder to see what one is gaining from living with a disability.

I am grateful for receiving such treasures!

©2008

posted for One Shot Wednesday at One Stop Poetry week 23

click on the link there is a lot of good poetry

by many great poets