I look out the barred window holding my broken wing, dreaming of flying into the wind. They say I will heal better here then anywhere. I say a bird cannot be caged even in hopes she will get better.
We need to feel the wind
smell the earth
be touched by the light
I need to be home with my daughter!
Between their walls, they say I have the time to rest, to heal my broken wing. I say I will go mad in this cage with their oppressive views, their insistence of unreal problems, their pushing of meds.
I take their tests of mind and body
walk the walk and talk the talk
walk the walk and talk the talk
I learn the ways to get free
The day arrives I get to fight for my freedom. We sit around the big table. Their attentions are focused towards my papers. Their words are tight with judgment.
My hairs rise with every false word they utter. I amazingly keep a straight face, crossing my fingers tighter with every lie, slowly working free of their web. Inch by Inch.
I can almost feel the wind
drifting across my face
flowing through my hair
I make promises to them I know I will never keep. Playing their game, maneuvering one-step ahead, wondering if they are aware of the bird they cage. A bird that will be free tomorrow no matter what happens no matter what they decide.
Did they look in my eyes and see fright? Did they realize my papers were not a match to me? All I know, I won the fight for my freedom.
I say Goodbye to the barred window, the wonderful nurses that cared for me, the narcotic I begged to get off, the doctors that hated my mouth, the ultra sound I learned to expect.
I get to go home to my daughter.
I enter the world through their electric doors sensing my coming freedom. I pause in the sun feeling the touch I longed for inside, breathing in the smell of earth. I slowly walk to the car with a skip to my stumbled steps. My daughter is on one side and my good friend on the other. I stop and turn toward the rehab building glaring with my Eagle eyes.
Giggling, I flick off the building
Shouting
“You’ll never see me again!”
~~~~~~~~
The rehab is a physical rehabilitation unit I was at after my last relapse from Multiple Sclerosis.
posted for One Shot Wednesday week 31 at One Stop Poetry
posted for One Shot Wednesday week 31 at One Stop Poetry
13 comments:
amazing River! you speak for so many caged birds I'm glad you won that fight. I'm glad that your good friend was right there with you and that your daughter was too.
love this ' giggling, I flick of the building
shouting
"you'll never see me again"
heehee!
Keep soaring perhaps one day we'll pass each other in flight!
many blessing to you my friend
I just know you'll fly again. :)
Oh River, hope you can fly ever and ever.
I read a bit from'behind closed doors' and was almost glad that I didnt find it here...Reading that much was disturbing enough for me because this does elicit some strong respone from me. Or I could simply sayboils my blood' *sigh*but there's no escape and will return this weekend then to read it and feel angry,sad,disgusted about the world-behind-closed-doors-all-over-the-world.
Oh my dear friends don't worry. I fly high soaring through my days. My broken wing was my left arm that gave me more pain then childbirth. I didn't have pain killers with my daughter but my arm man it was harsh. I would look at the nurses when I was in the hospital and tell them to cut it off or put morphine in the IV that was in the other arm. At the rehab place they had me on vicadin(sw) for the pain. It doesn't hurt me that bad anymore but the spasming nerves have left my hand numb. I use it has I type right now. At least some of the fingers.
This experience happened six and a half years ago.
River what an intense write. It must of been an awful experience. I believe you will fly.
Pamela
Brillant River...this one shot straight from the heart...my favorite of yours....nice work..bkm
Glad your wing has healed. I'm always amazed by the way you express the bond between you and your daughter :)
Thank you everyone. :)
smiles. thank you...it was personal and pointed as if pierced me...very nicely done...and no bird should be caged and glad you escaped
Love your blog! And great post...
tears of the sky fall to the ground
oh and you fly again..river this was so deeply touching..so glad for you and your daughter that you managed to escape..
Effective, offbeat - for this group - style of versifyin'. Good piece, with a sassy flash finish.
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