one afternoon
a day she ponders life’s array
a beam of thought across her face
she knows her minds a whirling race
a firing blast of neurons spray
a spark in flow with thoughts that blow
her images and words at play
a dance of thought, a minds embrace
a day she ponders life’s array.
Octain is a form conceived by Luke Rapture Elk. The rules are as follows: 8 lines -two tercets and a couplet, 8 syllables per line with the first line repeated (as much as possible) as the last. Meter is iambic or trochaic tetrameter and a rhyming scheme of A-b-b; a-c/c-a; b-A
Union
Our Unions are under attack
some Midwest wings of Right assail
Ms Johnson’s teaching job is frail
they want to vote on cuts to smack
the Left all hide, the time to bide
no vote until they all come back
people this poem’s not a tale
Our Unions are under attack.
13 comments:
I love One Afternoon.........and admire your skill at writing within a form. Forms scare me, and it amazes me how easily other poets manage them:) Well done!
I like both of them; a little more partial to the first for no particular reason than it's about writing. Well constructed it seems to me and you were able to use the entire first line. Well done! Gay
Very good Octaines. I am from Wisconsin, so I REALLY relate to the second one! Scary times here.
Not one, but two eh? You're spoiling us. I like them both too, but I especially loved the dry political commentary of Union, something I must work to incorporate more into my own poetry.
Refreshingly and impressively different demonstrations of the form. Great job.
Not one but two, how clever are you !! Love them both !!
JL&B
Two wonderful examples of the form. The first had a great impact on me, while the second makes an important statement about the politics of our times.
i like them both a lot river - your use of the form is flawless and you filled them both with great content
I can't critique these because in my honest opinion there is nothing to critique. Great form River x
Unfair! You did two beautiful poems in this form and made it look easy!
One afternoon was great. Thank you
"One afternoon", pretty amusing.
I love to muse too. :-)
Interesting contrasting use of form
Loved one afternoon, such an easy flow to it.
The second is over my head, so say no more about that.
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