Twenty-one
The first time, I woke all numb
equally from my knees down
traveling up and stopping
at the bottom of my ribs.
I found my own therapy
and in no time at all
I left the hospital walking
all weak and tingly-legged.
We road tripped west and on the way
I built up my strength with Hackie Sacs,
soaked my legs in Hot Springs,
then tingly I ran the Oregon coast.
~
Twenty-six
The second time, my feet hurt real bad,
my left big toe was numb.
Later that day, it moved
equally from my knees down.
It rose up my body and stopped
at the bottom of my ribs but
this time it jumped to my hands.
I was three months pregnant.
They said it was caused by my head.
I perfected my own therapy
walking once more.
I left the Hospital knowing
it would be awhile until the tingly left again.
~
Thirty-one
The third and final time at last I knew why
I was numb and tingly, unable to stand.
I faced the battle more angry than afraid,
a relapse from MS different then the rest.
I felt tremendous pain
to mind boggling extreme.
At times it could have flipped me out
however, I was stronger no doubt
with morphine on my side.
I pulled out my therapy like a pro ready to walk
even so, this time I changed, damage had been done.
I had a limp to the right and no feeling in the left.
That’s when I made up mind this was the final one.
~
Thirty-seven
An unexplainable pattern of age
has followed me for nearly twenty years.
Afflicting me every five,
leaving me temporarily paralyzed.
Until this last round of five
the pattern took a dive
and I flew right by
breaking
the pattern of five.
2010
6 comments:
Wow, River, what a terrifying and powerful journey. I hope once you knew what was causing it, it felt less frightening. I am also proud of your spirit, in that somehow you managed to break the pattern and "fly right on by". You are an amazing and inspirational woman - your life has the power of your name - the power of the River - in full flood at this time of year, where I live, clamoring at the topmost edge of the riverbank.
Great writing. Great journeying. Walking the path of the shaman.
We must never succumb to the unknown..You did not and now you soar with strength and determination.. I loved your retelling..
Continue to soar Miss River!!!
powerful message.
you are learning and growing.
keep it up.
Thank you Sherry and Lynne. Yes, it was a long and scary time the seven years it took them to figure out I had MS. Actually, I have no idea how long it would have taken if I hadn't taken it into my hands. I did what I call "I care about my health" sit down in the middle of the doctors office. I told her I wasn't moving till she ordered me an MRI. I had bad insurance or no insurance through the years and no one ever gave me one. My gut told me my back had to do with my problems. At that time my daughter was two and I hurt so bad it was crazy. I new there was something wrong with me. Well low and behold red flags and with a few other tests I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was so relieved to finally know what had been wrong all those times through the years. Wow :) did I write a bit. lol!
well deserved comments, River
you wrote your journey very well and I thank you for sharing.
You have amazing spirit! you are an inspiration to all of us!
the very best to you and your family in the New Year!
I'm glad the pattern broke.
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